"Is there anyone out there? Cause it's getting harder and harder to breath...."

~ Effort only fully releases its reward after a person refuses to quit. ~

TFA vs. MTC

I’ve been having quite a few conversations about this lately.  Like anything, there are pros and cons to both.  Because I’m not a TFAer, I don’t know all the ins and outs of the program, but what I do believe is MTC is a better program for training teachers for this region.  Now with that said, like the 5+ TFAers that have quit from my specific district, I too have been tempted to throw in the towel-better trained or not.

I do not think either program does a fantastic job at truly preparing us for “the worst that could happen.”  Over the summer, our training had an awesomeeeeeeeee principal, pretty well-behaved students, and united teachers.  I was spoiled during the summer and I felt like I was excelling at teaching and delivering effective lessons.  Now, 6 months into the game, I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing or what will happen from day to day.  Daily, I reluctantly enter school to do what I think is teaching.  All the summer training slowly, but surely went out the window once I got to the sh*tshow.

Now enough complaining. What could be done differently?  Our summer training was definitely helpful, but I don’t feel I was prepared to deal with all the emotional and psychological baggage that my students bring to school on a daily basis.  We have had a few workshops here and there, but we need some heavy-duty training on this.  We’re dealing with some jacked up systems, so go ahead and lay it on us.  Give us the real deal-Holyfield truth about what we may see in the classroom and how to respond/adjust to the situations.  From crazy principals to bi-polar children. Attending public schools most of my life, I thought I had seen most of the stuff I would run into…I was in for a rude awakening.  In addition to their mental health, this generation is just….different.  I teach middle-schoolers and I’d be damned if those suckers aren’t from another planet.  I’m only about 10-11 years older than them, but their mentality is so corrupted and warped!??  Some type of warning or suggested reading even would have been helpful.

I don’t know. I know MTC doesn’t have all the answers. And I also realize that not everyone is dealing with the bullshit that I am.  But like all people suffering, I just want some answers/relief fast.  I wish I could find a quick fix for this f*cked up system/district/school I’m in right now.  I came in this thing on fire for educating young people.  Now I’m counting down the days until I’m out.  Maybe the help and knowledge I desire can’t be attained in the 2 months we have summer training.  Maybe even 2 years isn’t long enough. 

The last point (sorry this post is all over the place)- We need some support with our own mental health.  That’s one silent killer noooooone talks about at work.  We’re all slowly, but surely losing it in these crazy districts.  It would be nice for someone to call every once in a while to check on us.  Genuinely check on us, pray for us (if you’re getting by by faith), offer advice, or hell, just to listen to us vent (without judging).  I always feel like I’m burdening people with my issues, when ½ of the people I talk to (fellow teachers) are experiencing the same stuff! Ashley was a great help 1^st semester. And I promise if it weren’t for her, Bill’s devotionals, and my roommates, I would have had a one-way ticket up 61, back to Memphis.

I keep telling myself that things will get better.  I WILL one day see the fruit of my labor.  These 2 years WILL be worth all these headaches, late nights, disrespect…..but boy, it is getting harder and harder to breath…