#TBT Draft Files

Originally written 10/16/2010
--------
The weeks between September 11 and October 9

I incorporated 2 new assessment tools in my class.  The first was a test similar to the "Fun with Functions" test.  I used the "matching" method to assess my students' understanding of scientific notation.  Each test had a unique sent of cards, so it was very important that the students kept all the cards together and did not swap cards. (Mistake #1). Also, there were about 16 cards per student with only about 10 question on the test. (Mistake #2) For my first class, the assessment worked REALLY well.  However, for the remaining classes, it was a disaster.  Despite specific instructions, several students dropped pieces on the floor, swapped pieces with a neighbor, and took pieces with them when they left the class.  By the end of the day, I was seeing pieces of my test down the hall. And because the pieces were mixed up, several students did in fact have the correct answer, but because they had a card from a different test, their answers didn't always match the answer key for their test number.

It seemed the students were excited about the idea of  the new assessment style, but there were too many cards per student and too much room for error.  In the future, I will do a better job of color coding the cards, creating fewer cards, and requiring the students to write the letter AND the number/answer on their test.  For the first 2 classes, I only required that they write the letter.  For the remaining classes, I required that they write the letter AND answer.  That's how I came to the realization that the pieces were allll mixed up! :(

#TBT Draft Files

Originally written 6/30/2009
--------
Over the past 3 weeks, I have had the privilege and honor of getting to know a wonderful, wonderful man. Y'all, I can't help but smile when I think of him! I mean, AS I'M TYPING THIS, I'm sitting here blushing! :) He makes me sooo happy! I know that he's heaven sent. I mean, EVERYTHING that

This blog was never finished....

#TBT Draft Files

Originally written circa Spring 2009
--------
Change of plans! I've decided to go ahead and blog a little tonight, while I'm in the mood. Who knows when I'll post another after tonight?? ;)

Soooooo.....where to begin?

1. Post Grad

I recently admitted to myself that Finance is not my forte. It's interesting and it definitely pays well, but I can't see myself sitting behind a desk all day cranking out numbers. I've been listening to God and his plan for my life and I think I will be happier in HR, Management, or higher ed. Not to mention, a job in HR is perfect for figuring out EXACTLY what employers are looking for in potential employees. So as of yesterday, I've been applying to various HR/Management/Higher ed positions around the US; although mostly concentrated in Memphis, Nashville, Atlanta, Charlotte, and Houston. So right now, the plan is to work for 1-2 years, then return to school for my Master's in....we'll see. I'm torn between two fields right now.

2. Vegas Guy

As you all know, I went to Vegas for my 22nd bday. I had a great time, partied with Ray J, met great ppl, the works. I left Vegas thinking, what happened in Vegas, stays in Vegas...apparently NOT! One of the 1232437483 guys I met in Vegas lives in LA and he has been contacting me NONstop since my visit. WTF? I've even been a total bitch to him, but he's so persistant. I agreed to go out with him, finally, in hopes that he'll chill. I'll be sure to repost the results of our little "date." lol

3. Thug in Love

I've mentioned this Memphis native in another post but just to refresh your memory. I met this jock last summer at a U of M graduation party. We chilled...but I didn't foresee any major developments in our friendship. He thought the opposite....Fast forward to the end of January. This guy had the NERVE to call me with a mysterious chick on 3 way, questioning me about my involvement with Jock. Are you f'n serious??!?!?!!! Homegirl definitely VIOLATED and I definitely told her about herself. I later found out, she was an ex ex ex girlfriend that was still sprung on his swole ass. Poor girl. Holding on to his ass....and for what?? After that incident, Jock and I completely stopped talking. Completely. He blamed me for his and the other chick's ignorance...boy please. A couple days ago, we talked again for the first time in a long time, and boy did he have a lot to say?!? He reminded me that I was the ONLY girl he wanted to be with and how stupid I was for "leaving" him. There are 1,000,001 girls trying to "get at him" but he only wants me and I'm too blind to see that....anyway. Save that shit for the birds. He got even more upset when I calmly ended that pointless conversation.

4. My sister

I reconnected with a long, lost friend of mine this week! I hadn't heard from her in over 2 years.

Blog was never finished...

#TBT- Draft Files- Daniel Fast

Originally written circa January 2010
------
I mentioned in the previous blog that I have been a real, live prayer warrior lately, and I'm proud of it! It's amazing how prayer REALLY does change situations. Seemingly hopeless situations, unfortunate situations, unhealthy situations. Prayer can turn your world upside down, and in and out. To jumpstart my new year on the right foot, I am participating in the "Daniel Fast" with my church. During this 21 day period, I hope to gain clarity and strengthen my personal relationship with God.

I have modified the Daniel Fast (a little) to work best for me. I have made a verbal commitment to the Lord that I will give up:

• Meats
• Dairy
• Processed foods
• Sweetners (natural and artificial)
• Enriched foods
• Bread made with yeast (mosttttt breads)
• Desserts
• Fast food/eating out
• Liquids (except water)
• Technology after 8:30p (BlackBerry included!!)

So what's left?? LoL. Fruits and veggies, whole grain pastas and foods (i.e. oatmeal) and unleavened breads, unsalted nuts, and any other "all-natural" food.

What I'm praying for:

• Clarity to questions regarding my relationships (fam and friends)
• Financial breakthrough
• Employment breaktrough
• Control over my "anxious behavior"
• Strengthened relationships (with God and others who matter most)
• Guidance
• Compassion and understanding, less judgment
• Confidence in my abilities and appearance
• Discernment
• Restored health and skin
• A companion
• Freedom from condemnation
• Lastly, I pray that this fast will serve as a catalyst to a healthier lifestyle in Christ!

---------------------------------------------
Day 1- Monday, January 4, 2010
Breakfast- Oatmeal
Lunch- Oatmeal w/ raisins and walnuts
Snack (throughout day)- oranges, raisins
Dinner- steamed broccoli, baked potato

The first day was a challenge! I overslept for my tax class, so I was rushing big time! I didn't pray like I'd initially planned and the hurrying and speeding and impatience frustrated me. Once I got to class, a know-it-all student in the class agitated me even more. Not to mention, I was constantly thinking about what I was going to eat for the rest of the day....the rest of the WEEK! I know this was NOT the purpose of my fast. I did not get off to a great start, but I am determined to finish strong! I have a tendency to "start over" when things aren't going well...and I usually don't finish. I WILL FINISH THIS!!

On a brighter note, I PASSED THE DISPATCHER TEST!!! (More on this later.) God is alreadddyyyy at work! :)

I sent up several prayers throughout the day, but I did not take the time to meditate and pray in solitude. It's difficult for others to comprehend the seriousness of this fast and the discipline it requires. I hold myself totally accountable for being so "distracted" that I didn't do as I'd promised.

Day 2- Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Breakfast- Oatmeal w/ raisins, walnuts
Snack- walnuts, raisins mix
Dinner- whole wheat pasta (w/ crushed red pepper, oregano, celery seed, lemon pepper, garlic, olive oil, sun-dried tomatoes), steamed broccoli

FINAL BLOG!!!!

This was posted on the wrong blog. :/

Originally written around 4.10.12

A Summation of My 2 Years in MTC

Well, initially I’d planned to talk about the experiences and training and trials and tribulations.  But instead, I’ll talk about the PEOPLE who have impacted and completely changed my life while in the Delta.  As I mentioned in my portfolio, the people I chose (and didn’t choose) to surround myself with became my community.  There is NO WAY I would have survived the tough days and lonely nights without my support system.  I thank God for each of these individuals, for they have sustained me in more ways than they can imagine.

So here goes!  In no particular order!

Philip Mohr- Philip was the very first MTCer I met in Oxford.  When I arrived, I had trouble finding the meeting place.  Once I did, I plopped down next to Mr. Philip Mohr from New York (we were seated alphabetically).  From the moment he introduced himself, I knew I was in for a treat.  “Mr. Mo” kept me laughing the entire day.  We chatted about random things and he found humor in wearing my “diva shades.”  Fast forward- little did I know that the crazy cool guy from New York would grow to be my favorite person in MTC.  His depth.  His faith.  His intellect.  There is never a dull conversation with Philip.  And I love that he’s so accepting of EVERYONE.  Not judgmental.  So genuine, self-aware,  and transparent.  So articulate.  I don’t think I’ve ever spoken with someone who can so accurately convey his or her thoughts and feelings verbally.  His word choice is always superb.  He never ceases to impress me!  And he can chill with ANYONE, from Noble Prize winner to someone from Po Dunk, Mississippi.  You don’t meet many people like Philip.  I love him to death and I hate that we didn’t hang as much as we did the first year.  He issticking around, so I’ll be sure to take a trip or two down to visit my buddy.  Love him and his infectious swag!  (Did I mention he’s a dancer too!)

Ben Mackey- “We found love in a broken place.”  Without Ben Mackey, I definitely would have quit during the first year.  Although our love didn’t last during my stay in the Delta, his support, love, and affirmation are irreplaceable.  God knew what he was doing when he sent Ben into my life.  I am soooo grateful for our time together.  Even if only for a season.

Laura Jones- My lovely roommate.  We started out a bit rocky, but in the end we’ve both learned so much from one another.  We recently embarked on a journey together (Go WAVES! :) ) and I’m grateful for her support and encouragement throughout this process.  I will miss Laura dearly.  If only we’d gotten closer sooner.  Oh well.  Everything happens for a reason!  Also, Laura is a phenomenally creative teacher and mentor to her students.  I hope this experience in Mississippi doesn’t leave her too jaded.  She would rock her f*cking socks off in a better environment. 

Charlie Preacher- What’s not to love about this lovable guy?  He’s gorgeous, funny, smart – perfect right? Lol.  Charlie has brought so much sunshine and so many rainbows into my life.  ;) Despite Charlie’s strong hatred for all things Mississippi, he has never complained or griped.  He did his job with a smile on his face- each and every day.  And he always had a funny little jig to go with it too!  Strength I tell you.  I’ve never seen strength like Charlie’s strength.

Ben Guest- Without this guy I would be running around like a chicken without a head.  Most of us in the Delta probably would.  Although Ben is a tough cookie to deal with at times, he’s always keeping us in the loop about our MTC obligations.  There was never a time I didn’t know about a deadline or class schedule change or role play.  I appreciate that.  Life can get crazy during your first (and 2^nd) year and Ben made sure to keep us up-to-date.  I’m sure we don’t say it enough but THANK YOU BEN!!!

Mom- Duh. This goes without saying.  I thank my mother for being the shoulder I needed to cry on (literally) and for celebrating the great and fulfilling days with me.  She’s listened to my endless teacher stories and continued to lift me as I pursue my dreams.  She’s always been 100% supportive of whatever decision I made and I’m so grateful for that.  Not everyone can say that about his or her parents.  My mom is awesome.  Period.

Orlando Hodges- Orlando was a 2^nd year TFA’r at my first school.  We instantly clicked and became super duper good friends, lol.  Orlando was always there for me at school when I needed someone to vent to or cry with.  He kept me sane and- in some cases, from losing my job.  He was extremely supportive and helpful in my times of need.  He genuinely loved me for me.  Thinking back, I don’t think I’ve ever met someone I felt like I’ve known my whole life.  Our chemistry really is amazing.  Unexplainable.  Kindred.  God knew what he was doing when he sent Mr. Hodges my way.  I love you!  Buzz:Woody

My favorite students – These were the kids who kept me going.  The ones who always smiled when they saw me in the hallway.  The ones who could read me as if they were my own.  The ones who missed me when I was absent.  Called me when I was sick.  Texted me to make sure everything was alright.  The ones who took up for me when the other bad asses talked shit.  Like last year, this year it kills me to leave my favorites in this broken place.  I wish I had money like Oprah to whisk them away to a better place.  A better school.  A better life.  I will continue to keep in touch with these few and I pray that when they get older, they’ll understand why I had to leave.  I love these kids unconditionally!  Thank you for making my days worthwhile.

Various MTCers- Maya- Maya has a beautifully brilliant mind.  She, like Philip, is so articulate and easygoing.  I wish we could have hung a bit more during our stay in Mississippi.  I loved that she questioned everything.  Herself.  The program.  Her purpose/impact here.  I did the same.  Except she was able to articulate the jumble of emotions in ways I never could.  Thank you Maya for being the voice of so many.  Thank you for challenging me to be a better teacher.  Thinker.  Communicator.  Woman.  You are beautiful and I know you’ll do some incredible things once you’re in a school where you’re truly valued for your array of talents. ------Bill- Thank you for arranging the Delta dinners and being unashamed to tell the Gospel.  I admire Bill and his strong faith in Jesus Christ.  I often looked forward to his inspirational emails, IMs, or blogs.  He’s an incredible guy and he has lifted me up more times than he can imagine.  Keep fighting the good fight!------Ashley Johnson- Incredible.  This chick is the next big thing in the education world.  WATCH OUT.  Ashley thank you for being so supportive, uplifting, cool, and helpful.  Her time in the Delta was invaluable to the Greenville folk and we are so thankful for her.  Ashley genuinely wants to see people get better and advance, and she’ll go out of her way to ensure that she’s being the resource and support you need.  She’s definitely someone I will keep in my circle.

TFA Family- I am grateful for the TFAers who so generously shared their time and resources to help me become a more effective teacher.  In additional to that, they provided other outlets like booze and parties.  TFAers are definitely still in college mode, and the uber-stressed alternate route teachers in the area usually appreciate that.  TFA ROCKS! J

I’m sure there were people who have slipped my mind, but charge it to my head and not my heart.  Like I mentioned before, I will forever be grateful for this experience and each and every person who has played a role in it.  GOD IS GOOD!

FINAL BLOG!

A Summation

Well, initially I’d planned to talk about the experiences and training and trials and tribulations.  But instead, I’ll talk about the PEOPLE who have impacted and completely changed my life while in the Delta.  As I mentioned in my portfolio, the people I chose (and didn’t choose) to surround myself with became my community.  There is NO WAY I would have survived the tough days and lonely nights without my support system.  I thank God for each of these individuals, for they have sustained me in more ways than they can imagine.

So here goes!  In no particular order!

Philip Mohr- Philip was the very first MTCer I met in Oxford.  When I arrived, I had trouble finding the meeting place.  Once I did, I plopped down next to Mr. Philip Mohr from New York (we were seated alphabetically).  From the moment he introduced himself, I knew I was in for a treat.  “Mr. Mo” kept me laughing the entire day.  We chatted about random things and he found humor in wearing my “diva shades.”  Fast forward- little did I know that the crazy cool guy from New York would grow to be my favorite person in MTC.  His depth.  His faith.  His intellect.  There is never a dull conversation with Philip.  And I love that he’s so accepting of EVERYONE.  Not judgmental.  So genuine, self-aware,  and transparent.  So articulate.  I don’t think I’ve ever spoken with someone who can so accurately convey his or her thoughts and feelings verbally.  His word choice is always superb.  He never ceases to impress me!  And he can chill with ANYONE, from Noble Prize winner to someone from Po Dunk, Mississippi.  You don’t meet many people like Philip.  I love him to death and I hate that we didn’t hang as much as we did the first year.  He issticking around, so I’ll be sure to take a trip or two down to visit my buddy.  Love him and his infectious swag!  (Did I mention he’s a dancer too!)

Ben Mackey- “We found love in a broken place.”  Without Ben Mackey, I definitely would have quit during the first year.  Although our love didn’t last during my stay in the Delta, his support, love, and affirmation are irreplaceable.  God knew what he was doing when he sent Ben into my life.  I am soooo grateful for our time together.  Even if only for a season.

Laura Jones- My lovely roommate.  We started out a bit rocky, but in the end we’ve both learned so much from one another.  We recently embarked on a journey together (Go WAVES! :) ) and I’m grateful for her support and encouragement throughout this process.  I will miss Laura dearly.  If only we’d gotten closer sooner.  Oh well.  Everything happens for a reason!  Also, Laura is a phenomenally creative teacher and mentor to her students.  I hope this experience in Mississippi doesn’t leave her too jaded.  She would rock her f*cking socks off in a better environment. 

Charlie Preacher- What’s not to love about this lovable guy?  He’s gorgeous, funny, smart – perfect right? Lol.  Charlie has brought so much sunshine and so many rainbows into my life.  ;) Despite Charlie’s strong hatred for all things Mississippi, he has never complained or griped.  He did his job with a smile on his face- each and every day.  And he always had a funny little jig to go with it too!  Strength I tell you.  I’ve never seen strength like Charlie’s strength.

Ben Guest- Without this guy I would be running around like a chicken without a head.  Most of us in the Delta probably would.  Although Ben is a tough cookie to deal with at times, he’s always keeping us in the loop about our MTC obligations.  There was never a time I didn’t know about a deadline or class schedule change or role play.  I appreciate that.  Life can get crazy during your first (and 2^nd) year and Ben made sure to keep us up-to-date.  I’m sure we don’t say it enough but THANK YOU BEN!!!

Mom- Duh. This goes without saying.  I thank my mother for being the shoulder I needed to cry on (literally) and for celebrating the great and fulfilling days with me.  She’s listened to my endless teacher stories and continued to lift me as I pursue my dreams.  She’s always been 100% supportive of whatever decision I made and I’m so grateful for that.  Not everyone can say that about his or her parents.  My mom is awesome.  Period.

Orlando Hodges- Orlando was a 2^nd year TFA’r at my first school.  We instantly clicked and became super duper good friends, lol.  Orlando was always there for me at school when I needed someone to vent to or cry with.  He kept me sane and- in some cases, from losing my job.  He was extremely supportive and helpful in my times of need.  He genuinely loved me for me.  Thinking back, I don’t think I’ve ever met someone I felt like I’ve known my whole life.  Our chemistry really is amazing.  Unexplainable.  Kindred.  God knew what he was doing when he sent Mr. Hodges my way.  I love you!  Buzz:Woody

My favorite students – These were the kids who kept me going.  The ones who always smiled when they saw me in the hallway.  The ones who could read me as if they were my own.  The ones who missed me when I was absent.  Called me when I was sick.  Texted me to make sure everything was alright.  The ones who took up for me when the other bad asses talked shit.  Like last year, this year it kills me to leave my favorites in this broken place.  I wish I had money like Oprah to whisk them away to a better place.  A better school.  A better life.  I will continue to keep in touch with these few and I pray that when they get older, they’ll understand why I had to leave.  I love these kids unconditionally!  Thank you for making my days worthwhile.

Various MTCers- Maya- Maya has a beautifully brilliant mind.  She, like Philip, is so articulate and easygoing.  I wish we could have hung a bit more during our stay in Mississippi.  I loved that she questioned everything.  Herself.  The program.  Her purpose/impact here.  I did the same.  Except she was able to articulate the jumble of emotions in ways I never could.  Thank you Maya for being the voice of so many.  Thank you for challenging me to be a better teacher.  Thinker.  Communicator.  Woman.  You are beautiful and I know you’ll do some incredible things once you’re in a school where you’re truly valued for your array of talents. ------Bill- Thank you for arranging the Delta dinners and being unashamed to tell the Gospel.  I admire Bill and his strong faith in Jesus Christ.  I often looked forward to his inspirational emails, IMs, or blogs.  He’s an incredible guy and he has lifted me up more times than he can imagine.  Keep fighting the good fight!------Ashley Johnson- Incredible.  This chick is the next big thing in the education world.  WATCH OUT.  Ashley thank you for being so supportive, uplifting, cool, and helpful.  Her time in the Delta was invaluable to the Greenville folk and we are so thankful for her.  Ashley genuinely wants to see people get better and advance, and she’ll go out of her way to ensure that she’s being the resource and support you need.  She’s definitely someone I will keep in my circle.

TFA Family- I am grateful for the TFAers who so generously shared their time and resources to help me become a more effective teacher.  In additional to that, they provided other outlets like booze and parties.  TFAers are definitely still in college mode, and the uber-stressed alternate route teachers in the area usually appreciate that.  TFA ROCKS! :)

I’m sure there were people who have slipped my mind, but charge it to my head and not my heart.  Like I mentioned before, I will forever be grateful for this experience and each and every person who has played a role in it.  GOD IS GOOD!

2012-2013 Plan

3^rd year? Ha!

Joining MTC was one of the greatest opportunities presented to me in recent years.  Not only was I able to fulfill my lifelong dream of becoming an educator, I was able to do this WHILE earning a graduate degree…and a free computer!  I have met some awesome people and worked alongside some of the most impressively driven, dedicated teachers.  Sadly though, this feeling of pure joy and euphoria has slowly evaporated over my time in the Mississippi Delta- and I’m in search of that again.

I never thought I would say this, or feel this way about a place or about teaching, but I am so unhappy here.  Unhappy with the rural lifestyle, the oppressed mindsets that many African-Americans have, the victim mentality witnessed in adults and my students, the misuse of resources and government aid, the lack of diversity- culturally and mentality, the constant blame, lack of emotional and professional support…the list goes on.  It’s time for something new!

So, no. I will not be staying a third year…USELESS (maybe) I can teach a non-state tested subject.  But even then, I will likely leave.

Top 10 Reasons:

1. 1.     I hate the constant pressure on state-tested teachers, despite the students’ ability level.  (I have students in Algebra I who scored minimal and basic on their 7^th grade MCT2…)
2. 2.     I have 1 more year of teaching in me before I decide to go back to finance or on to culinary arts.  I would prefer for that 1 year to be in an excellent school.
3. 3.     The Mississippi Delta has little to offer a young adult socially.
4. 4.     The students are too aggressive and apathetic for me.  I have seen a stark change in myself by just being in such an abrasive environment.  Gotta get “me” back!!!
5. 5.     I would like to travel/live abroad, and next year may be the year I am able to check it off my bucket list!
6. 6.     There is an amazing church in Memphis that I really want to get more involved in.
7. 7.     Mississippi teachers don’t get paid enough.
8. 8.     The lack of diversity is killing me.  Same people, same ideas, same thoughts, same bullshit.
9. 9.     Tasty food…but fatty food! :(
10. 10. Cupid seems nonexistent here… </3

I have learned SOOOO much about myself and life by living in Mississippi.  I definitely wouldn’t change this experience for anything.  It was tough, but soooo worth it.

So long Mississippi.  Until we meet again. <3 

Time's A Wastin'

Tik Tok

Close the door.

Block it out.

Don’t think about it.

Let’s drink it out.

Darkness.

Lost, helpless.

Bound.

Found by Him, but still bound.

By the feelings of inadequacy

Feelings of apathy

Not appreciated

Jaded

Overrated

Upset and frustrated

Empty minds

Simple thinking

Empty tanks

Our future’s sinking

Into an abyss

Does anyone care about the kids?

Getting an “education”

More like probation, or indoctrination

From the highly sexual generation

Repetition, different rendition

Try this strategy, and that

Shit! Just cut ME some slack

Held responsible, but not to blame

In the blame game, the mindless, thoughtless, effortless reign

The Beamer, Benz, or Bentley take the reins

When hard, leave us in front of the trains

Demolished. Destroyed.

Dismembered. And what for?

Is race, the color of my face, a factor in the race?

Or the zip code in which the place where I reside lies?

Or the fact that my mother is the only one who raised this child

Backseat factors are steering my brain.

Excuses rain. My intelligence wanes.

My drive is drained.

In junior high and on a cane.

By high school, paralyzed.

Brain is fried.

Tired of trying.

No fear of dying.

Or committing the crimes that

Are used to define the race. Now the face of that race.

Not really a race, but of that barred place.

At the end of the day, we’re the human race.

We all suffer. When the reality finally hits

There will be no buffer.

Help.

The day-to-day

My sentiments exactly!

Sick
by Shel Silverstein
"I cannot go to school today," Said little Peggy Ann McKay. "I have the measles and the mumps, A gash, a rash and purple bumps. My mouth is wet, my throat is dry, I'm going blind in my right eye. My tonsils are as big as rocks, I've counted sixteen chicken pox And there's one more--that's seventeen, And don't you think my face looks green? My leg is cut--my eyes are blue-- It might be instamatic flu. I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke, I'm sure that my left leg is broke-- My hip hurts when I move my chin, My belly button's caving in, My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained, My 'pendix pains each time it rains. My nose is cold, my toes are numb. I have a sliver in my thumb. My neck is stiff, my voice is weak, I hardly whisper when I speak. My tongue is filling up my mouth, I think my hair is falling out. My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight, My temperature is one-o-eight. My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear, There is a hole inside my ear. I have a hangnail, and my heart is--what? What's that? What's that you say? You say today is. . .Saturday? G'bye, I'm going out to play!" Untitled By: Elle Tibsen Wake up too early. Home too late. Each day I wake, I dread the fate. Of dealing with annoying tweens The pleasant one are few and far between. Whining, pouting, fighting, angry I just wish someone could save me. Consultants are supposedly "experts" But listening to their crap just makes my head hurt. Bipolar relationship is how I describe it. Hate the situation one day, the next day thriving. Wanting to leave. Hoping to stay. My decision changes day to day. Is the grass really greener on the other side? IDK. But in the meantime I'm stuck on this ride.

Big goal?

This is what I want my students to believe:

"I believe in myself and my ability to do my best.

I am intelligent.  I am capable of greatness.

I can learn.  I will learn.  I must learn.

Today, I will listen. I will speak. I will see.

I will think. I will feel. I will try. I will reason.

I will read. I will write. I will ask questions.

I will do all these things with one purpose in mind: to do my BEST.

I am too smart to waste today!"

It is sad to say that I’ve given up on many of my monumental goals for my students and fellow teachers.  Unlike last year, this year’s students are EXTREMEMLY apathetic.  They feel “entitled” in a sense.  Little effort is given unless the class is “fun” or the teacher is “crunk” and allows them to do what they want to do.  Well, that ain’t my class!  Of course, I love a game every now and then, but only after the material has been covered.  Because so many students are behind (and don’t give a ****), it takes two times longer to cover an objective.  When the game is presented, the concept behind the material is lost and all they are concerned about is “winning” and how this person and that person is cheating, and looking at them, and a host of other irrelevant topics.  As for the teachers, too many of them are coasting along- leading the kids into darkness and the never-ending cycle of poverty.

In spite of the above, I do work hard to get my students prepared for the state test.  As much as I don’t like the constant pressure to do well and cover the objectives, I’m doing what I have to do.  At this point, I’m just praying the scores are decent enough for the school to no longer be “at risk of failing.”

In addition to this, my school has been granted 120 “free” Lumosity accounts.  I am super excited about this endeavor.  Already, the students are loving the games and brain exercises offered on the website.  I hope that after I leave, another teacher continues to apply and encourage more cognitive thinking/development programs.

At the end of the day, my prayer is that each of my students become a good person.  I am constantly reminding them of the importance of a good attitude, good behavior, and a strong work ethic.  After about 6 months, I’m finally starting to see some change in a few.

Teach Like A Champion

To the tune of "I Like Big Butts"

I like buzz cuts and I cannot lie

You other sistas can’t deny

That when a guy walks in, with a fresh buzz cut

And a nice smile in your face

You get sprung!

LoL.

-----------------------------

But forreal, lol.

I am a...

sass’n, preach’n, counsel’n, pray’n, late stay’n, CRAZY, love’n, hug’n, listen’n, scream’n, cry’n, praise’n, dance’n, haze’n, M’provin, plan’n, wing’n (not too often *wink*), sing’n, cuss’n, fuss’n, mug’n, care’n, talk’n, holler’n, walk’n, chalk’n, cousin, mother, laugh’n, joke’n, tease’n, feed’n, need’n, beg’n, plead’n, seek’n, wonder’n, search’n, find’n, drink’n, go’n, come’n, sleep’n, breath’n, screaming- did I say screaming?  Masters get’n, TFA critique’n, Paper grade’n, data analyze'n, question ask’n, consequence give’n, informal assess’n, Expo’n, PowerPoint’n, differientate’n, caluculate’n, never understimate’n TEACHER!

Mini-Me

I’ve realized that my “favorite” students are all the same.  Super invested, usually pretty bright, cute, girly, a bit talkative, sassy, SPOILED, versatile, popular, likeable, adorable, Yorkie-lovin’ fashionistas!  Maybe it is because they’re so easy to love, or maybe it is because they remind me of myself when I was their age. (or at least the middle schooler I desired to be) ;)

I’m at a new school, with new rules, and new favorites!  Hands down, my favorite student is Miss Tyla Rash!  OMGN!!  She is so awesome!  She is a short, bubbly, super optimistic, athletic, dancing, wide-eyed 8^th grader.  I look forward to seeing her daily during 2^nd period.  And if I’m absent, she is the first to express her disapproval and sadness for my absenteeism.

Tyla is one of the few 8^th graders who “act her age” and she loves school.  She is always the first to participate, volunteer, and buy into my singing, gestures, and games.  Although she can be a bit talkative, she is ALWAYS apologetic when corrected- NEVER an attitude like her classmates.  She often begssss for a pass out of other classes to come back to mine to help around the room, grade papers, or sometimes for a double dose of math!  Who wouldn’t love a student like this?  She also is the first to jump to my defense when her not-so-fond classmates talk about me.  I appreciate that. J

Tyla always does the right thing and stands up for her beliefs.  She is an individual and I love that about her.  She balances her academics and extracurricular activities effortlessly and she is definitely bound for greatness.  I will miss her SO MUCH when she goes to HS next year. L I will definitely keep in touch with her once I leave the Delta.  

Crowning Glory- My Hair Journey: Delta Edition!

"From dreadlocks to braids to Afros, black women have long used their hairstyle as a way to express themselves and their beliefs.  Far from superficial, their artistic collaboration relates how a new do can symbolize everything from a woman's freedom from her parents' control to a reverence for one's similarly coiffed ancestors."

In the beginning, things were good and straight!  I was happy, the students were happy, everyone was happy.  Then things started to get rocky.

The pony fro... This started around January.  I didn't have time to do anything... including my hair.

Whoa! Did I stick my finger in a socket? This madness of a fro had to be tamed...QUICK! Out of nowhere to save the day came...

Outre 100% Natural Indian! Oh yea! Unbe-weave-able!

After the sew-in-sew came the Jheri Curl? Lmao! "She's your Queeeen to beeee!" 

A mess. LoL! At least my ends are straight! Yea!

End of the Year Party! Rocking the Kinky Curly. Yea buddy.

I took a mini trip to VA and the heat didn't gel well with the Kinky Curly.  A protective style and a bun.

 Alas... I'm free again. Summer school...straight and voluminous!

Well, what do you know?!  A full 360!  Oh how I missed my straight hair. :)















**Disclaimer: Many of these "styles" were not worn outside the confines of my home. I'm not that crazy.***  :P


ALSO! Shoutout to my honey for loving me unconditionally! No matter the hairstyle! xoxo

Volume 2.1

SMS= my second middle school (the new school)

FMS = my first middle school (aka the prison)

The First Day of School

The night before the first Monday, I was in a “blah” mood.  I thought for sure I would be excited or antsy or something, but I was not.  I went to bed a little too late and woke up the next day in the same mood.  “Well…here goes!”  On my drive to work, I blasted some of my favorites tunes to get me a bit more excited about the first day of school!  I mean, I was driving to SMS not FMS!!!   That in itself is a good enough reason to cut a backflip or two. LoL.

About 15 minutes into my drive, I could feel the excitement coming on.  Though, so many questions were running through my head:  Will I rock the first day like I did at FMS?  What will the teachers think of me?  Will I truly be accepted?  (The teacher I replaced was an all-time favorite of the teachers and students.)  Will the students be the same as the students at FMS?  Will I have troublemakers testing me the first day?  How will my Whole Brain Teaching work in an environment with no ceilings (literally)?  Will the other teachers complain about my noise?  Will I have to let go of WBT and basically my teaching style because we don’t have ceilings?  Will my feet start to hurt in my shoes? (At FMS, I wore tennis shoes every, single day.)Will there be a fight on day one?  Will my occasional “Memphis Heat” discipline style come off too strong and not be accepted by the students and faculty?  Will I even need to show that side of me?  Will I be able to leave the old Miss Nesbitt at FMS and fully embrace SMS, while using this as an opportunity to unlearn ALL the horrible habits and management “techniques” I picked up at FMS?  Will I have the energy to last 6 classes instead of the 3 I had at FMS?

Before I knew it, I was pulling into the school- hella early!!! (This is also a big deal for me.) :P  I went to my duty post and riiiiiiiinnnnnnnngggggg!  School began!

In addition to the typical first day agenda, we were instructed by our principal to teach “character education” for the entire first week.  He’d recently attended a conference on Quantum Learning, and came back thrilled about incorporating strategies learned at the conference at SMS.  One main topic being “The Cognitive Imperative” which focused on “THE Line.”  The Line is the threshold of a level of responsibility.  Living “above the line” or “below the line” is a personal choice, thus giving the power and freedom back to the individual.  The individual is taking control of choice and subsequently, taking control of results.  It was a great lesson in positive self-discipline, for the students and staff.  By 6^th period, the students knew all about “the line” and were aimming to live "above it"- make smarter choices, come to school prepared, show respect to teachers and peers, etc.  Over the course of the week, it was really interesting to watch the transition from typical, middle-school behavior to a sense of respect and responsibility.  IT WAS GREAT!

At the end of the day, I felt amazing!  My students were great, the noise wasn’t too bad, my WBT worked well, and my colleagues were so helpful with anything I needed.  Several times throughout the day, someone stopped by to “check on me,” give a little ‘first day of school’ advice, and see if I had everything under control.  (I think they all think this is my first year of teaching.)

I am so thankful to be where I am.

See Ya! Would want to be ya!

Dear Second Years,

Can you believe it?!  You’re (almost) done- and I’m sure many first years (um…me!) are envious of you all right now!

But really, I am so thrilled for you all and I am so thankful to have had so many great teachers and mentors in my life during this grueling period.  I wish I could have spent more time with the second years, especially the few in the Delta, but you all know that finding a “healthy” work/life balance during your first year of teaching can be rough.

Sara- GULLLLLL! You are a true gem in the Delta.  Your professionalism and positive attitude are infectious.  Not to mention, you’re so damn funny!  Thank you for the continued support and advice (“take a day gul!”)  with school and natural hair.  I loved your style, personality, intellect, and the fact that you remained true to Sara no matter what.  I admire that.  I wish you the absolute best in the Windy City or wherever the wind may take you.  You’re the bomb girl!  And if your hot water is ever out again, feel free to shower at our place.

Aymi- Wow. Wow. Wow.  Hands down, my favorite Canadian.  I wish we had started hanging out at the beginning of the year, but I know things were as hectic in BelzonA as they were in the Ville.  Anyway, I envied your work/life balance (with more emphasis on the life than the work) and your LOVE for all things fun!  You are an extremely hard worker and a bit of an overachiever (face it!). J  I see a lot of myself in you.  (That’s what he said…) But seriously, we’re more alike than you realize.  And apparently, we look alike too!  LoL.  I know you’re headed to a BIG city with lots of lights, booze, men…basically all the things you love! ;)  I love your confidence and I know LJ and I will be up to Toronto to party hard with you soon enough!  Love you mucho!

To wrap this thing up, I will miss the laughter, the counseling, the potlucks, and the downright fun we had 2^nd years, but I know you all will be successful in whatever it is that you decide to pursue!

Congratulations again and GOOD LUCK!

Peer Review

New School Resolutions

Well…time is winding down and I, like many other teachers, am in survival mode.  I am so ready for this state test to come and go, then soon after that SCHOOL’S OUT!  I have learned so many bad habits and I’ve experimented with so many different techniques, routines, procedures, consequences, etc in my class this year.  Whenever something didn’t work like I’d expected in class, I would decide to change it “starting next week.”  And pretty soon, that brilliant idea is out of the window with the last 4 and I am plotting to start another “new thing the kids will love” the following week.  Sigh.  This whole year has been more of a trial and error than anything for me. 

Because the year is slowly, but oh so surely coming to a close, my “starting next week” has become “starting next year.”  Now, because I say this so often, I definitely don’t remember every new “great idea” I have, but here are a few:

·       Remain consistent and persistent with the consequences- at the beginning of the school year, I was the Consequence Queen…but not anymore.  One large reason is because of the lack of structure and consequences at my school from the administration.  When my consequence ladder has reached the maximum punishment, I have nowhere to turn for additional help.  Because of that my consequences became less feared and eventually fizzled out.

·       Track my students using TFA’s Student Mastery Tracker (and other data collecting/analyzing resources) and keep students aware of their progress in class- Using the tracker will allow me to better serve my students in the areas where they need the most assistance.  Before being introduced to TFA’s method of using data, I would collect grades and create fancy spreadsheets to “analyze” the data--just to realize later that I had no idea what conclusions should be made based on the data collected.

o   In addition to tracking my students, I plan to keep the students abreast of their standing in class using some form of visual representation.

·       Teach Like A Champion- This book is a game changer!  I do believe my teaching is pretty decent, but I’m ready to enter the big leagues.  TLAC is an excellent resource for any teacher who is ready to take their teaching to the next level.  One where students are engaged, time if being efficiently used, and lessons are the most effective.  I have yet to complete the book because of my crazy workload, but this summer I plan to diligently study the techniques mentioned in Doug Lemov’s book, so that on my first day at my NEW school, I can deliver a lesson unlike anything they have ever seen.

To Teach or Not to Teach

Denial isn't Just a River in Egypt

Mmmm, Mmmm, Goooood!

Hmmm… I don’t know what to write about folks.  I’ve been thinking about it all weekend, and I’m still drawing a blank. Nothing too personal, nothing too negative, nothing too anti-education… I guess I could write about my true love- COOKING! :) 

So before deciding to attend graduate school, I was strongly contemplating going to culinary school.  Not just any ol’ school, but THE French Culinary Institute in NY!  My mom frowned upon this, but I was dead serious.  I ABSOLUTELY loveeeee cooking! (Actually, prior to MTC, cake decorating was one of my main sources of income!)

Lately, cooking has been my stress reliever from all the CHA-OS at my school.  Last semester I cooked a little here and there.  Nothing too fancy, and nothing too new.  All old recipes that were tried and true. Quick, 30-minute “Rachel Ray” meals.  But with the new chaos at school (still holding classes and ish!) came a need for some variety in my cooking regimen.  So I dusted off a few cookbooks, reactivated my account on allrecipes.com, and returned to my true love.  Boy has it been a blast!  I literally sit in class, thinking about what I’m cooking that evening/weekend.  I’ve tried so many new dishes and ALL have been a huge success/hit.  Local MTCers (weekly Wed. night potlucks) are loving it and so is my new beau.  He eagerly tries each and every dish, giving me his stamp of approval.   I enjoyed every minute of it and I’ve been thinking of picking this habit back up, full-time, once I’m done with the program.  I would love to travel to Italy or Argentina and live for 12-16 months-cooking and eating.  On that “Eat, Pray, Love” tip, lmao.

For my birthday (2^nd weekend in January) my beau took me to the Viking Cooking School in Greenwood, MS for their “Southern Cookin’ ” class.  CAN YOU SAY HEAVEN?!?!  Classes have approximately 10-12 students and 2-3 professional cooks.  Each group (3-4 students) is responsible for cooking the entire menu, which is provided by the school with recipes.  Our menu included fried chicken, mashed potatoes, greens, cornbread, banana pudding, and sweet tea.  Not only did we cook all that food, at the end we sat down to eat all the food!  It was so amazing!!!  I enjoyed EVERY SINGLE minute of the class and we’ve been checking our schedules to plan another visit.  If the classes weren’t so pricey, I would definitely be making that drive to Greenwood every weekend I didn’t have class in Oxford for those classes.

Anyway.  The ONLY issue with cooking so often is…eating so often.  The best foods aren’t usually the healthiest…and let’s just say I LOVE GOOD food! LoL.  So to balance my insane new cooking, I’ve been doing some pretty insane workouts. (More on this later).  So far, so good.  We’ll see if I’m saying this in a few months.

"Is there anyone out there? Cause it's getting harder and harder to breath...."

~ Effort only fully releases its reward after a person refuses to quit. ~

TFA vs. MTC

I’ve been having quite a few conversations about this lately.  Like anything, there are pros and cons to both.  Because I’m not a TFAer, I don’t know all the ins and outs of the program, but what I do believe is MTC is a better program for training teachers for this region.  Now with that said, like the 5+ TFAers that have quit from my specific district, I too have been tempted to throw in the towel-better trained or not.

I do not think either program does a fantastic job at truly preparing us for “the worst that could happen.”  Over the summer, our training had an awesomeeeeeeeee principal, pretty well-behaved students, and united teachers.  I was spoiled during the summer and I felt like I was excelling at teaching and delivering effective lessons.  Now, 6 months into the game, I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing or what will happen from day to day.  Daily, I reluctantly enter school to do what I think is teaching.  All the summer training slowly, but surely went out the window once I got to the sh*tshow.

Now enough complaining. What could be done differently?  Our summer training was definitely helpful, but I don’t feel I was prepared to deal with all the emotional and psychological baggage that my students bring to school on a daily basis.  We have had a few workshops here and there, but we need some heavy-duty training on this.  We’re dealing with some jacked up systems, so go ahead and lay it on us.  Give us the real deal-Holyfield truth about what we may see in the classroom and how to respond/adjust to the situations.  From crazy principals to bi-polar children. Attending public schools most of my life, I thought I had seen most of the stuff I would run into…I was in for a rude awakening.  In addition to their mental health, this generation is just….different.  I teach middle-schoolers and I’d be damned if those suckers aren’t from another planet.  I’m only about 10-11 years older than them, but their mentality is so corrupted and warped!??  Some type of warning or suggested reading even would have been helpful.

I don’t know. I know MTC doesn’t have all the answers. And I also realize that not everyone is dealing with the bullshit that I am.  But like all people suffering, I just want some answers/relief fast.  I wish I could find a quick fix for this f*cked up system/district/school I’m in right now.  I came in this thing on fire for educating young people.  Now I’m counting down the days until I’m out.  Maybe the help and knowledge I desire can’t be attained in the 2 months we have summer training.  Maybe even 2 years isn’t long enough. 

The last point (sorry this post is all over the place)- We need some support with our own mental health.  That’s one silent killer noooooone talks about at work.  We’re all slowly, but surely losing it in these crazy districts.  It would be nice for someone to call every once in a while to check on us.  Genuinely check on us, pray for us (if you’re getting by by faith), offer advice, or hell, just to listen to us vent (without judging).  I always feel like I’m burdening people with my issues, when ½ of the people I talk to (fellow teachers) are experiencing the same stuff! Ashley was a great help 1^st semester. And I promise if it weren’t for her, Bill’s devotionals, and my roommates, I would have had a one-way ticket up 61, back to Memphis.

I keep telling myself that things will get better.  I WILL one day see the fruit of my labor.  These 2 years WILL be worth all these headaches, late nights, disrespect…..but boy, it is getting harder and harder to breath…

Mmmm, Mmmm, Goooood!

Hmmm… I don’t know what to write about folks.  I’ve been thinking about it all weekend, and I’m still drawing a blank. Nothing too personal, nothing too negative, nothing too anti-education… I guess I could write about my true love- COOKING! :)

So before deciding to attend graduate school, I was strongly contemplating going to culinary school.  Not just any ol’ school, but THE French Culinary Institute in NY!  My mom frowned upon this, but I was dead serious.  I ABSOLUTELY loveeeee cooking! (Actually, prior to MTC, cake decorating was one of my main sources of income!)

Lately, cooking has been my stress reliever from all the CHA-OS at my school.  Last semester I cooked a little here and there.  Nothing too fancy, and nothing too new.  All old recipes that were tried and true. Quick, 30-minute “Rachel Ray” meals.  But with the new chaos at school (still holding classes and ish!) came a need for some variety in my cooking regimen.  So I dusted off a few cookbooks, reactivated my account on allrecipes.com, and returned to my true love.  Boy has it been a blast!  I literally sit in class, thinking about what I’m cooking that evening/weekend.  I’ve tried so many new dishes and ALL have been a huge success/hit.  Local MTCers (weekly Wed. night potlucks) are loving it and so is my new beau.  He eagerly tries each and every dish, giving me his stamp of approval.   I enjoyed every minute of it and I’ve been thinking of picking this habit back up, full-time, once I’m done with the program.  I would love to travel to Italy or Argentina and live for 12-16 months-cooking and eating.  On that “Eat, Pray, Love” tip, lmao.

For my birthday (2^nd weekend in January) my beau took me to the Viking Cooking School in Greenwood, MS for their “Southern Cookin’ ” class.  CAN YOU SAY HEAVEN?!?!  Classes have approximately 10-12 students and 2-3 professional cooks.  Each group (3-4 students) is responsible for cooking the entire menu, which is provided by the school with recipes.  Our menu included fried chicken, mashed potatoes, greens, cornbread, banana pudding, and sweet tea.  Not only did we cook all that food, at the end we sat down to eat all the food!  It was so amazing!!!  I enjoyed EVERY SINGLE minute of the class and we’ve been checking our schedules to plan another visit.  If the classes weren’t so pricey, I would definitely be making that drive to Greenwood every weekend I didn’t have class in Oxford for those classes.

Anyway.  The ONLY issue with cooking so often is…eating so often.  The best foods aren’t usually the healthiest…and let’s just say I LOVE GOOD food! LoL.  So to balance my insane new cooking, I’ve been doing some pretty insane workouts. (More on this later).  So far, so good.  We’ll see if I’m saying this in a few months.